Let me bitch a little right quick:
"OH EMM GEE! Did you see what Peter wrote on his blog last time? He put up the German guy's texts! What if he finds out? That's lyke ILLEGAL or something!!!"
This is what I've heard people comment on my previous post titled "Robert the German Asshole". This irritates me immensely because these very opinionated people, who like discussing MY blog with MY friends, somehow forget to tell ME why they don't think it's appropriate. If you gotta problem, you tell MOMMA, K? This IS Erasmus if you forgot. ;-)
So, if you are one of those people (with they panties in a bunch) and who BITCH about my BITCHING and the ASSHOLES in my life, please stop reading...
If you are still reading this, thanks for not being a BITCH (and for having your panties on appropriately).
Turkish life has been treating me quite well and I plan on catching you up on all the details, juicy and not.
But while we're on the topic of RUUUU(de) people, let me tell you about getting a residence permit in Turkey/going to the fires of hell and back. So, before I came to Turkey, I applied for a student visa at the Turkish Embassy in Washington DC. That was a pain in itself because DC is not very close to my house, and I had to go there twice for something that took ten minutes each time. But alas, I survived. However, upon coming to Turkey, you are required as a student to apply for a residence permit, which shows that you are legal to live in Turkey and travel to and from the country. I applied online for an appointment to the main police station right away but because there are so few appointments, I had to wait until November until I actually went. On the day of my appointment, I came with all my documents to the police station (which is 2ish hours from my neighborhood), waited my turn for about two more hours and then finally went to the window in hope of applying without problem. I was wrong. The two men behind the counter took my papers and one of the two seriously looked at me as if I had just handed him five sheets of toilet paper. He looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world because I didn't print the pages correctly. And no one spoke English well there, so I ended up running around the police station attempting to reprint documents and pay for my RP with misty eyes, trying not to be a loser and cry in the Turkish police station. But finally,I applied and was told to come back in a week to pick up the actual document.
SOOOOO! I came back the next week when I was supposed to, handed the man my receipt to pick up my RP and waited for them to call my name. He called my name soon after and I stood up to sign for my permit. BUT, he just gave me the paper back and said "You come back tomorrow. Thank you." AH-SKEWZ MEEEE! I DID NOT JUST SKIP MY CLASS AND COME 2 HOURS TO BE TURNED AWAY AND TOLD TO COME BACK TOMORROW! That's what I thought in my head, but in real life, I said out loud to him "NO" (That's right, with capital letters) But I soon realized that he had already spoken as much English as he could with me. There was no point in arguing with him. He wouldn't/couldn't listen. I left the office, walked outside, sat down, and cried. That's right: This bitch cried with his sunglasses on because he couldn't get his RP. I was so frustrated! In the end though, I waited around another hour and tried again. Only this time, it was (magically) ready. Guess crying helped. But if you want to know where all the rude Turkish people are, go to the police station in Fatih.
On a happier note:
Two weeks ago, we had a week off from classes because it is a religious holiday or "Bayram". My mom lived in Turkey about eight years ago while she was in the military and made friends with a Turkish woman named Ilknur. Ilknur has been peeing her pants to meet me ever since I've arrived and invited me to come visit her for the Bayram. I was hesitant about such a long visit because I had never met this woman before. Also, all my friends seemed to be planning cool trips to the beach or other parts of Turkey while I was going home with a middle aged Turkish woman. But, why not? So, I took the overnight train to Eskisehir, the city where my mom worked and where Ilknur lives, on a Saturday night. I arrived at about 4:30 in the morning and met Ilknur and her "mommy". I stayed with them for a couple of days before we left for Konya, another city where Ilknur's sister and their family live. Keep in mind that out of everyone in this family, Ilknur is the only one who speaks English. So, it was interesting at times, but I feel that my Turkish has improved a lot.
Bayram is meant to commemorate the biblical story of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son (or something like that). In order to do so, Turkish people kill animals. And whatchu gonna do with all those dead animals? YOU EAT THEM. EVERY. SINGLE. PIECE. OF THE ANIMAL. For the whole week. They just kept feeding me and feeding me. It was quite a change for me since I was a vegetarian back in the States and now, I'm stuffing my face with cow heart! It did get to be a little like Fear Factor at times, but overall, the food was very good. Ilknur's family is also the sweetest family in the world. Her sister was an awesome cook. Her brother-in-law's name is Aladdin (no joke) and the two little kids called me "Abi" which means "my brother". SO ADORABLE! And her mom is cute because she bought me socks.
Besides being fattened up, Ilknur bought me clothes and took me to the sites in Eskisehir. We even got to go to Cappadocia for a day, which is quite beautiful. My friends who roadtripped to beaches in the south stayed the night at Ilknur's also on their way back to Istanbul. We had a fun little sleepover. And did I mention, I did not spend money for this vacation? Turkish people are (generally) so nice. (So fuck the people that work at the police station!) They don't let you pay for anything. So, I had an awesome-tastic break if you couldn't tell. Mommy also sent me home with ELEVEN bottles of homemade tomato sauce, a jar of strawberry jam, and two bags of leftover meat. Turkish hospitality can't be beat!
Now, I'm back in the Isty and planning when I'm going to leave again. Of course, I love it here, but there is so much of Turkey that I haven't seen yet! It's finally starting to change into winter here, and traveling won't be so much fun or easy any more. But two of my friends from Oklahoma (shoutouts to Lauren and Cindy)are coming to visit next month and we will definitely be traveling/party-partying for a good portion of their time here. Now, who wants to write a 20-page research paper for me while I go have fun? Hahaha-I'm being serious. Neither of us is gonna be laughing if I fail my class.
Let's finish with some fun facts, shall we?
1. Boy sitch: All I can say is Turkish flight attendant. That's seriously all I can say because I don't remember his name. Whoops!
2. While in Konya, I overheard two American girls talking about "Ayran" (pronounced like Iran), a Turkish yogurty drink that tastes like nasty nast salty milk in my opinion. Anyway, this is the conversation between them:
Normal girl: Whenever I see the name "Ayran", I think "Aryan".
Stupid girl: I love the name "Aryan".
Yes, this actually happened.
3. Guess who I saw at a club the other night? I'll give you a clue, he's German and he's an asshole...THAT'S RIGHT, IT WAS ROBERT!!! It was obvious that we both saw each other, but for some reason, neither of us felt the need to say hi to the other. It was awkward the whole time and toward the end, my low esteem started to come back to me, but luckily he didn't make a move and I still have my dignity. So there!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Robert the German Asshole
The juicy shit is coming, but I want to recap a lil' bit right quick.
A week and a half ago was the Istanbul Marathon. This is really cool because for that one day the Bosphorus Bridge is open to pedestrians. It is normally closed because so many people have committed suicide off of it (drama). Thankfully, there are different race distances besides the marathon, including 15 kilometers and 8 kilometers. There is also a "fun run"...so we participated in that one but without the "run" part. After an early morning wake-up (6am), two bus rides, and some unhappy campers, we made it to the race. It ended up being an awesome day and I'm so glad I got to walk from Asia to Europe. I'm like Bono or something! It must make all the people who decide to hook up the night before and oversleep jealous. You know who you are! (They jealous)
This is what Mr. Bosphorus looks like when you're on him.
Then my camera died :(
Let's get to some rull drama. I mean DRAMA! Like I have mentioned previously, the boys in Isty have been lining up the block just to watch what I got (can't compete with "Angel" though). The first guy of importance was Turkish and looked like Gael Garcia Bernal, or at least that's what my drunken self thought. He didn't speak the English very well, and by very well I mean, he knew maybe 10 words. He also kept telling his friend in Turkish that he wanted to speak "body language" with me...We'll fast forward a little because you don't need to know ALL those details.
I swear he looked like this
Guy #2:
My friends and I went to a party for Erasmus and Exchange students in downtown Istanbul. There was this guy with his one girl friend (not girlfriend) who I saw move closer to me. I thought, "Ok, I must be looking purty good tonight" to myself, and by myself, I mean, I told all my friends. So, they attempted to work their magic and figure him out. Their not-so-good detective skills found out that he's not gay. What a bummer! Ok, I'll find someone next time. But he kept standing there, right next to me! And then everyone started pushing me towards him, saying, "Go, Peter! He's gay!" I thought they all just wanted to make fun of me, but it ended up being true. His name's Robert and he seemed like a really nice guy. FAST FORWARD!!!
So, we kept texting back and forth the following few days. He invited me to meet his friends and I invited him to dinner with my friends. Everyone was nice blah blah blah.
DRAMA:
This past Friday night, I was out with my slutty friend (shoutout to mah gurl!) who I knew was going to go home with someone (who looks like Frodo). And I was like, "Shit I don't like being the third wheel, I gotz to go!" I texted Robert and he invited me to go to a gay club with him and another girl friend (not girlfriend). I met them there and we went inside. We're all dancing. It's fun. Next thing I know, I turn around and he is making out with some guy. AHHH HELL NO! NOBODY BRING ME TO NO CLUB AND MAKE OUT WIFF SUMWUN ELSE. NAHAAA!
What did Peter do? Well, I went up to him and told him he was a "big asshole" and left. When you're drunk at four in the morning, you don't have a lot of common sense, so I started walking home, which is like five miles away. I made it maybe a mile (maybe) then gave up and took a taxi home.
These are the texts from the next day:
"hey peter. hope u r not angry with me?! I'm sorry if i've hurt ur feelings last night, i didn't want that."
and i said yeah, you hurt my feelings. i thought you liked me, etc.
"i'm so sorry for that. didn't know that it'd hurt u so much, sorry! and yes, i like you, but yesterday i just wanted to have fun, was drunk and didnt think abt you, this is my fault, sorry"
i didn't forgive him, but i started feeling like the fat, low self-esteem girl that i normally am and asked him what he's doing that night, trying to get invited. he told me he's going out and that i should come BUT then he tells me he's going to a gay club and i asked him if he was planning to get with someone else again and THE BITCH SAYS:
"if i go to a gay club i'd like to have a choice that's why i go there u know. my feelings acc. (?) to u r not that strong. do u understand? :-)"
he likes emoticons. i told him he seems like an asshole right now and THEN:
"believe me i am a nice guy but i just need my freedom to do whatever i want :-) this is erasmus"
THIS IS ERASMUS???!!! THIS IS MOMMA'S HOUSE AND NOBODY MAKES MOMMA FEEL LIKE SHIT!
GO BACK TO GERMANY
P.S. we haven't texted since :-) <----stupid emoticon
A week and a half ago was the Istanbul Marathon. This is really cool because for that one day the Bosphorus Bridge is open to pedestrians. It is normally closed because so many people have committed suicide off of it (drama). Thankfully, there are different race distances besides the marathon, including 15 kilometers and 8 kilometers. There is also a "fun run"...so we participated in that one but without the "run" part. After an early morning wake-up (6am), two bus rides, and some unhappy campers, we made it to the race. It ended up being an awesome day and I'm so glad I got to walk from Asia to Europe. I'm like Bono or something! It must make all the people who decide to hook up the night before and oversleep jealous. You know who you are! (They jealous)
This is what Mr. Bosphorus looks like when you're on him.
Then my camera died :(
Let's get to some rull drama. I mean DRAMA! Like I have mentioned previously, the boys in Isty have been lining up the block just to watch what I got (can't compete with "Angel" though). The first guy of importance was Turkish and looked like Gael Garcia Bernal, or at least that's what my drunken self thought. He didn't speak the English very well, and by very well I mean, he knew maybe 10 words. He also kept telling his friend in Turkish that he wanted to speak "body language" with me...We'll fast forward a little because you don't need to know ALL those details.
I swear he looked like this
Guy #2:
My friends and I went to a party for Erasmus and Exchange students in downtown Istanbul. There was this guy with his one girl friend (not girlfriend) who I saw move closer to me. I thought, "Ok, I must be looking purty good tonight" to myself, and by myself, I mean, I told all my friends. So, they attempted to work their magic and figure him out. Their not-so-good detective skills found out that he's not gay. What a bummer! Ok, I'll find someone next time. But he kept standing there, right next to me! And then everyone started pushing me towards him, saying, "Go, Peter! He's gay!" I thought they all just wanted to make fun of me, but it ended up being true. His name's Robert and he seemed like a really nice guy. FAST FORWARD!!!
So, we kept texting back and forth the following few days. He invited me to meet his friends and I invited him to dinner with my friends. Everyone was nice blah blah blah.
DRAMA:
This past Friday night, I was out with my slutty friend (shoutout to mah gurl!) who I knew was going to go home with someone (who looks like Frodo). And I was like, "Shit I don't like being the third wheel, I gotz to go!" I texted Robert and he invited me to go to a gay club with him and another girl friend (not girlfriend). I met them there and we went inside. We're all dancing. It's fun. Next thing I know, I turn around and he is making out with some guy. AHHH HELL NO! NOBODY BRING ME TO NO CLUB AND MAKE OUT WIFF SUMWUN ELSE. NAHAAA!
What did Peter do? Well, I went up to him and told him he was a "big asshole" and left. When you're drunk at four in the morning, you don't have a lot of common sense, so I started walking home, which is like five miles away. I made it maybe a mile (maybe) then gave up and took a taxi home.
These are the texts from the next day:
"hey peter. hope u r not angry with me?! I'm sorry if i've hurt ur feelings last night, i didn't want that."
and i said yeah, you hurt my feelings. i thought you liked me, etc.
"i'm so sorry for that. didn't know that it'd hurt u so much, sorry! and yes, i like you, but yesterday i just wanted to have fun, was drunk and didnt think abt you, this is my fault, sorry"
i didn't forgive him, but i started feeling like the fat, low self-esteem girl that i normally am and asked him what he's doing that night, trying to get invited. he told me he's going out and that i should come BUT then he tells me he's going to a gay club and i asked him if he was planning to get with someone else again and THE BITCH SAYS:
"if i go to a gay club i'd like to have a choice that's why i go there u know. my feelings acc. (?) to u r not that strong. do u understand? :-)"
he likes emoticons. i told him he seems like an asshole right now and THEN:
"believe me i am a nice guy but i just need my freedom to do whatever i want :-) this is erasmus"
THIS IS ERASMUS???!!! THIS IS MOMMA'S HOUSE AND NOBODY MAKES MOMMA FEEL LIKE SHIT!
GO BACK TO GERMANY
P.S. we haven't texted since :-) <----stupid emoticon
Friday, October 15, 2010
Why do I have to study when I study abroad?
The first three weeks of class have already passed and I'm definitely feeling it. I know a lot of people think of study abroad as a time to get drunk a lot, hook up, and travel around a lot...yeah, so I've done most of that, but my studies are starting to creep up on me. I already have papers due and I always seem to have a fuck-ton of reading to do. That's right: a fuck-ton. But what do you expect when you're studying at "the best" university in Turkey? I mean, I would definitely prefer to have things way easier, but maybe this will be a good challenge for me? No, let's just be honest: if I could, I would chose not to do anything academic while I'm here (except learn Turkish).
The weather in Isty has been sucking some pretty big balls lately. It just rains and rains all the time. And it's cold. I do not remember Wikipedia saying anything about this. It says it rains three inches on average in October. I think it rained that much today. Wikipedia stoopid! That all I have to say. Some advice: yo' clothes will not dry if it raining outside and you don't have a dryer. To top this all off, right when it gets cold and rainy, the gas in our apartment got shut off. Something like the bill was still in the name of the last person who lived there so they just shut it off. So, no hot shower, no hot food, no heat for a week. (We just got it back yesterday) Now, the internet's not working for the same reason. It sux! How am I posed to watch this week's ANTM if there no interwebs? Oh well, hopefully this will all be solved by Monday.
In other news, I have recently acquired an obsession with being hygienically disgusting. For some reason, I just have not been able to motivate myself to take a shower everyday. And I wash my hair even less. So, when there was no hot water, I would take even fewer showers. I could have fried chicken in my hurr, I believe. But, that don't stop the boys from coming to the yard.
Which brings me to the topic of BOYS. Let's just say, I have received more attention in one month in Istanbul than I know what to do with. Let that simmer in your mind for a minute... And I'm gross! I don't take showers and they're bangin' the door down! (not really) Israel can suck it! Istanbul's where it's at! I keep it as classy as I can thank you very much. But the Turkish gays are clingy. Of course, I love attention, but I can't handle people telling me they love me after meeting me once. Ya know? And calling me "my baby" is kind of weird.
With regards to travel, I got out of I-bul last weekend for the first time since I've been here. I went with six of my friends to Bursa, which is about 5-ish hours away. We took an awesome ferry ride and then a bus to get there, stayed in a coolio hotel, and ate iskender kebab until I felt like I was going to fro up.
For those of you not-so-cultured folk, this is iskender kebab:
Is your mouth watering yet? If not, then think of me and iskender kebab at the same time and then it will be.
We also went to a small Ottoman village (willage if you're German)and ate a typical breakfast in a tent and then wandered around in nature for an afternoon. Of course, I was the dumb bitch who stepped in animal poo, but that was only a minor issue. Overall, it was a great weekend and I hope there are many more to come just like it. (<--cliche sentence)
I'll leave you with some life-changing facts about culture here:
1. Construction boots are all the happ with the Turks. Both girls and guys strut this trend in many different colors. Think FUBU, but Turkish?
2. There are so many blind people here!!! I cannot get over it not because they bother me, but because they are so mobile! The cars drive cray cray here, but these people don't get hit. It's amazing and all they use is a walking stick.
3. Cindy Woods is coming to visit me in December! WHAT WHAT!!! Who jealous? That's right, ALL OF YOU!
The weather in Isty has been sucking some pretty big balls lately. It just rains and rains all the time. And it's cold. I do not remember Wikipedia saying anything about this. It says it rains three inches on average in October. I think it rained that much today. Wikipedia stoopid! That all I have to say. Some advice: yo' clothes will not dry if it raining outside and you don't have a dryer. To top this all off, right when it gets cold and rainy, the gas in our apartment got shut off. Something like the bill was still in the name of the last person who lived there so they just shut it off. So, no hot shower, no hot food, no heat for a week. (We just got it back yesterday) Now, the internet's not working for the same reason. It sux! How am I posed to watch this week's ANTM if there no interwebs? Oh well, hopefully this will all be solved by Monday.
In other news, I have recently acquired an obsession with being hygienically disgusting. For some reason, I just have not been able to motivate myself to take a shower everyday. And I wash my hair even less. So, when there was no hot water, I would take even fewer showers. I could have fried chicken in my hurr, I believe. But, that don't stop the boys from coming to the yard.
Which brings me to the topic of BOYS. Let's just say, I have received more attention in one month in Istanbul than I know what to do with. Let that simmer in your mind for a minute... And I'm gross! I don't take showers and they're bangin' the door down! (not really) Israel can suck it! Istanbul's where it's at! I keep it as classy as I can thank you very much. But the Turkish gays are clingy. Of course, I love attention, but I can't handle people telling me they love me after meeting me once. Ya know? And calling me "my baby" is kind of weird.
With regards to travel, I got out of I-bul last weekend for the first time since I've been here. I went with six of my friends to Bursa, which is about 5-ish hours away. We took an awesome ferry ride and then a bus to get there, stayed in a coolio hotel, and ate iskender kebab until I felt like I was going to fro up.
For those of you not-so-cultured folk, this is iskender kebab:
Is your mouth watering yet? If not, then think of me and iskender kebab at the same time and then it will be.
We also went to a small Ottoman village (willage if you're German)and ate a typical breakfast in a tent and then wandered around in nature for an afternoon. Of course, I was the dumb bitch who stepped in animal poo, but that was only a minor issue. Overall, it was a great weekend and I hope there are many more to come just like it. (<--cliche sentence)
I'll leave you with some life-changing facts about culture here:
1. Construction boots are all the happ with the Turks. Both girls and guys strut this trend in many different colors. Think FUBU, but Turkish?
2. There are so many blind people here!!! I cannot get over it not because they bother me, but because they are so mobile! The cars drive cray cray here, but these people don't get hit. It's amazing and all they use is a walking stick.
3. Cindy Woods is coming to visit me in December! WHAT WHAT!!! Who jealous? That's right, ALL OF YOU!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Did I Just Get Hit On?
Classes have finally started and I can't decide whether or not I approve. On the one hand, I am glad that I have something productive to apply myself to and it saves me money because a large portion of my time so far here has been spent going out and drinking. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but my bank account is like "ouch!" The negatives of classes are that I lose time spent sitting in front of my computer watching TV shows while eating Turkish chocolate spread (usually on bread but sometimes if it's rough, I just eat it off a spoon). Also, my brain is still in summer mode where I have not been thinking about academic related issues at all. But it makes me feel better in class because English is my first language so I can take notes faster. Be jealous, Turks!
I am enrolled in four classes total: Human Rights, Seminar on Social Movements, Development and Growth, and Turkish. I thought about adding a fifth class, but then I asked myself, "Bitch, why did you come all the way to Turkey if you're just going to study all the time?" Needless to say, I only went to one hour of that class before nixing it.
Pros and Cons of classes here:
Pros:
-Books are way cheaper because you just pay for illegally copied versions of books.
-I don't have class on Fridays.
-I speak English!
Cons:
-Lessons for the same class aren't held in the same classroom the whole week. They could be in one building on Tuesdays and a completely different one on Thursday. Why, Turkey, why?
-There are multiple campuses of my university that are only 10-15 minutes apart, but walking in between them can be a bitch.
Last night, the organization for exchange students here put on a cruise on the Bosphorus. Of course, we each had to pay about $20, but it was worth it because you got three complimentary drinks including a slim selection of beer, wine, and vodka. Please do the math:
No dinner + two STRONG mixed drinks + one beer + one super shaky boat = one fucked up Peter
It was tons of fun, but I am still surprised I did not fall over the railing of that sea vessel. I was looking forward to putting my elementary school swimming lessons to good use, but I am thankful now that I didn't have to whip them out while intoxicated. They did teach us how to make a life preserver out of our pants though.
The party was the expected: people, music, dancing, drunk American girl being a slut, German girl throwing up, you know, the typical party. I think I got hit on by this Turkish guy? But his facebook profile says he's interested in women. It's like a reverse JuanBa. ALSO, he was double-timing me by being a player and trying to get with my (friend?) "Angel" when I wasn't there. I wasn't interested in him at all, but knowing me, I'm up for a little competition and just wanted to be the bitch cock-on-cock-blocker. Galen started it though by being a little diva because I asked him if he wanted the Turkish delight (wink) and he just gave me a look like "Queen, why are you talking to me?" BTW, I'm not a queen.
After the cruise, most of the people were planning to go out to another party, but I was super tired and decided to walk home. I thought walking would get rid of some of the drunk...nope. I got lost on the way haha, ate some drunchies, and went to bed. I also thought it was hilarious to take gross pictures of myself eating drunchies. See below:
I still think it's funny.
My free Friday has been super unproductive.
P.S. If you can't tell, things are getting better for me here. Still some kinks to work out, but it's cool. So don't be sad about my last entry!
I am enrolled in four classes total: Human Rights, Seminar on Social Movements, Development and Growth, and Turkish. I thought about adding a fifth class, but then I asked myself, "Bitch, why did you come all the way to Turkey if you're just going to study all the time?" Needless to say, I only went to one hour of that class before nixing it.
Pros and Cons of classes here:
Pros:
-Books are way cheaper because you just pay for illegally copied versions of books.
-I don't have class on Fridays.
-I speak English!
Cons:
-Lessons for the same class aren't held in the same classroom the whole week. They could be in one building on Tuesdays and a completely different one on Thursday. Why, Turkey, why?
-There are multiple campuses of my university that are only 10-15 minutes apart, but walking in between them can be a bitch.
Last night, the organization for exchange students here put on a cruise on the Bosphorus. Of course, we each had to pay about $20, but it was worth it because you got three complimentary drinks including a slim selection of beer, wine, and vodka. Please do the math:
No dinner + two STRONG mixed drinks + one beer + one super shaky boat = one fucked up Peter
It was tons of fun, but I am still surprised I did not fall over the railing of that sea vessel. I was looking forward to putting my elementary school swimming lessons to good use, but I am thankful now that I didn't have to whip them out while intoxicated. They did teach us how to make a life preserver out of our pants though.
The party was the expected: people, music, dancing, drunk American girl being a slut, German girl throwing up, you know, the typical party. I think I got hit on by this Turkish guy? But his facebook profile says he's interested in women. It's like a reverse JuanBa. ALSO, he was double-timing me by being a player and trying to get with my (friend?) "Angel" when I wasn't there. I wasn't interested in him at all, but knowing me, I'm up for a little competition and just wanted to be the bitch cock-on-cock-blocker. Galen started it though by being a little diva because I asked him if he wanted the Turkish delight (wink) and he just gave me a look like "Queen, why are you talking to me?" BTW, I'm not a queen.
After the cruise, most of the people were planning to go out to another party, but I was super tired and decided to walk home. I thought walking would get rid of some of the drunk...nope. I got lost on the way haha, ate some drunchies, and went to bed. I also thought it was hilarious to take gross pictures of myself eating drunchies. See below:
I still think it's funny.My free Friday has been super unproductive.
P.S. If you can't tell, things are getting better for me here. Still some kinks to work out, but it's cool. So don't be sad about my last entry!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
GO HARD OR GO HOME! (I went home)
As expected, much has gone downhill since my initial days in Istanbul. I was awestruck by the scenery and the expanse of the city, but I've had a few too many instances lately that have left me with some negative feelings. I say that this is expected because no matter how "international" and "adaptable" I make myself out to seem, I always have a horrible time at the beginning when I'm in a new place. This was true for Costa Rica, Oklahoma, and Israel. However, with time, I grew to really like the places (or at least like certain aspects enough to be able to survive) :)
I guess my first and biggest problem would have to be my phone sitch. Gizem had a phone set up and ready for me when I came to Turkey (so sweet). But the other day, when we went to an orientation for foreign students, it stopped working. I thought it was possibly just out of the service area, but I never got no bars back. And it sucked because I met a lot of cool people and they were like "What's your number?" and I was like "I don't know because I'm Turkey-tarded." And then they could never call me and I couldn't call them. Things did work out mas o menos through facebook but I was desperate to get my phone fixed. It's been lyke five days now and I have been to at least 5 PHONE STORES and today I spent lyke 4 HOURS STRAIGHT trying to get this damn phone. And it turns out that the place I finally ended up at is two minutes from my apartment. Fuck that shit!!!
Number 2: This weekend, the internet at my apartment stopped working. My roommate says its because the people here before didn't pay the bill and that we'd have to wait until Monday. Some people think it's really cool to "go off the map" and not use technology for a while...I discovered this weekend that I am not one of them, especially when I'm in a new place where I don't have anything to do except look at shit on the internet and call my hopefully new friends, both of which were not possible.
In this same period of time, I got locked out of my apartment twice (once it wasn't my fault), got stuck on my balcony alone for an hour because I couldn't open the door, and got told I was rejected by my department at the university (turned out not to be true). So, I was pretty sure I was going to end up crying in the bathroom stall, eating a whole chocolate cake, and talking to my mom on the phone all at the same time. This didn't happen in reality, but I did have the same emotional overload.
Last, but not least:
After an isolated fun experience of going to the Istanbul Modern Museum and walking around the city yesterday with my new group of friends who I really like, we ate dinner together and starting drinking for a "fun night out." The motto (proposed by me of course) was GO HARD OR GO HOME (optional: BITCHES). After some hardcore pre-drinking where I ended up being the drunkest one, we went out into the night! We went to this birthday party at someone's apartment and then took a bus to Taksim, the downtown area of Isty. Be-tee-dubbs, apartment parties aren't fun here because you live in the same building as families so everyone wants you to shut up. And people will yell at you in Turkish on the bus if you're loud and drunk. We ended up first at a shady dance club and then a shadier bar. As the night progressed, Momma realized he was not having it. I was ready to 1) get some, 2) have someone pay attention to me, or 3) go home. The first two didn't work out so well, so I ended up having a romantic solo taxi ride home. It sucks that I couldn't even live up to my own motto. LAME, HUH? But I'm glad I realized I was on my man rag and couldn't take any more attention whores (this is a separate story) or stupid Americans for a while.
I know this makes it appear as though I'm having a horrible time, and I am. But that's hopefully only for now. Things can only go up from here, right? I have had some successes and a lot of fun at times. I trust that e'erthing will be OTAY soon! Just gotta keep chugging along...
I guess my first and biggest problem would have to be my phone sitch. Gizem had a phone set up and ready for me when I came to Turkey (so sweet). But the other day, when we went to an orientation for foreign students, it stopped working. I thought it was possibly just out of the service area, but I never got no bars back. And it sucked because I met a lot of cool people and they were like "What's your number?" and I was like "I don't know because I'm Turkey-tarded." And then they could never call me and I couldn't call them. Things did work out mas o menos through facebook but I was desperate to get my phone fixed. It's been lyke five days now and I have been to at least 5 PHONE STORES and today I spent lyke 4 HOURS STRAIGHT trying to get this damn phone. And it turns out that the place I finally ended up at is two minutes from my apartment. Fuck that shit!!!
Number 2: This weekend, the internet at my apartment stopped working. My roommate says its because the people here before didn't pay the bill and that we'd have to wait until Monday. Some people think it's really cool to "go off the map" and not use technology for a while...I discovered this weekend that I am not one of them, especially when I'm in a new place where I don't have anything to do except look at shit on the internet and call my hopefully new friends, both of which were not possible.
In this same period of time, I got locked out of my apartment twice (once it wasn't my fault), got stuck on my balcony alone for an hour because I couldn't open the door, and got told I was rejected by my department at the university (turned out not to be true). So, I was pretty sure I was going to end up crying in the bathroom stall, eating a whole chocolate cake, and talking to my mom on the phone all at the same time. This didn't happen in reality, but I did have the same emotional overload.
Last, but not least:
After an isolated fun experience of going to the Istanbul Modern Museum and walking around the city yesterday with my new group of friends who I really like, we ate dinner together and starting drinking for a "fun night out." The motto (proposed by me of course) was GO HARD OR GO HOME (optional: BITCHES). After some hardcore pre-drinking where I ended up being the drunkest one, we went out into the night! We went to this birthday party at someone's apartment and then took a bus to Taksim, the downtown area of Isty. Be-tee-dubbs, apartment parties aren't fun here because you live in the same building as families so everyone wants you to shut up. And people will yell at you in Turkish on the bus if you're loud and drunk. We ended up first at a shady dance club and then a shadier bar. As the night progressed, Momma realized he was not having it. I was ready to 1) get some, 2) have someone pay attention to me, or 3) go home. The first two didn't work out so well, so I ended up having a romantic solo taxi ride home. It sucks that I couldn't even live up to my own motto. LAME, HUH? But I'm glad I realized I was on my man rag and couldn't take any more attention whores (this is a separate story) or stupid Americans for a while.
I know this makes it appear as though I'm having a horrible time, and I am. But that's hopefully only for now. Things can only go up from here, right? I have had some successes and a lot of fun at times. I trust that e'erthing will be OTAY soon! Just gotta keep chugging along...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I have a crush...
Let's play a game faithful blog-readers. It's called "Where the Fuck is Peter?!" It's been almost a week since I've arrived in Turkey, but I think I would lose this game because I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I AM SOMETIMES HERE. Istanbul is unlike any place I've been before. It's MASSIVE, awesome, and I love it so far (which kind of freaks me out, because I never like a place when I first get there).
Backing up:
On Thursday, September 9th, I boarded a plane from DC to Frankfurt. The plane ride was 7 1/2 hours and lucky for me, as soon as we took off, I found out I had the worst stomach craps IN DA WORLD!!! At first, I was like, "I must be hungry. Let's get this meal service started." But the by the time the flight attendant was asking me if I wanted chicken or pasta, I had decided I might be flying Diarrhea Airlines, flight # shit-my-plants, with non-stop service to the farthest place possible. And to top that off, I was in the middle seat, so if I had to go the lavatory, I would have to make someone get up and if I did it multiple times, I would not have any friends for 7 1/2 hours. After forcing down, some gross airplane food, I changed my mind and realized I needed to vomitate :( So, I quietly and politely made my way to the bathroom only to discover that I had misdiagnosed myself. I was just gassy, nauseous, and at this point, cranky. What the hell?! By the time my second flight from Frankfurt to Istanbul arrived, I was better, not 100%, but better. There, waiting for me was my friend GIZEM who I hadn't seen in almost 3 years!!!
Gizem's drama:
When I made plans to come to Turkey, I made sure to come early to find an apartment and get settled, but I also wanted to spend time with my friend if possible. Our Polish freak Gosia also planned on coming for a few days and we could all hang out together. However, a couple days before I arrived, the unthinkable happened...............................................
The water pipes in Gizem's house EXPLODED and FLOODED the whole place!!! Noooo! As a result, Gizem and her parents temporarily moved in with relatives, Gosia canceled her trip, and I had to stay in a guest house/hostel. Of course, I'm in no way mad at Gizmo or her family; it was just unfortunate timing. And, my first few days were still fun filled, looking at apartments, eating Turkish food, and watching the basketball world championships which was going on in Turkey!
I also met a lot of Gizem's relatives and I love them all already. I know it may sound like I'm exaggerating, but these people were just super nice to me although most of them don't speak a word of English. They're adorable. I hope to be able to learn enough Turkish to tell them how cool I think they are.
A couple days after I arrived, Gosia surprised us by letting us know that she was in fact coming to Istanbul on a tour with her parents. That day, my personal Turk and I took a water ferry from Asia to Europe (dramatic, I know) and saw the touristy sites of Isty: famous mosques, a cistern, monuments... That night, we met up with Gosh at her hotel and went out for the night. IT WAS LIKE THE BEST NIGHT EVER AND I GET ALL MISTY MISTY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. We were besties and haven't seen each other in so long. All we did was go to Taksim (the hip place in 'Stanbul) had a beer, talked, laughed, and ate DRUNCHIES. We didn't want to say bye, however our new goal is to reunite again in Poland during winter break.
I am now in my apartment which is about a five minute walk from campus. It's totes awes! If I like you, you have my permission to come visit and stay here. If I don't like you, you have my permission to be jealous. ;) Gizem worked her Turkish voodoo and used her family's living sitch to make the people living here feel sorry for me and let me stay=I'm her bitch forever. There are two German guys and a Turkish girl. They're super nice and helpful (at least for now). Will let you know if there be dramz.
Overall:
1) I have decided that I have a BIGASS CRUSH on Istanbul. Like I said, I don't usually like a place when I first move there, but I surprisingly like it here. I hope she likes me back...
2)The only thing I hate about being here is that I don't know Turkish, like anything. Can't even say basic shit. And whenever Gizem teaches me stuff, it doesn't even sound like a language so it doesn't stick in my head. But I will get it one of these days! And I will make my facebook statuses in Turkish so you'll be like "Shit! Why am I not cool enough to know Turkish like Peter?"
3) Turkish guys like to have two hairstyles at the same time.
For a visual: divide your hair in half (front and back). In the back, make it spiky with gel. In the front, put gel in it also but comb it forward. You now have Turkish boy hair. Weird, huh?
4) For some reason, I have thought up names for Turkish pornos. So far, I have "Constan-titty-nople" and "Istan-balls". Don't ask me where this came from.
5) JETLAG CAN SUCK MY ASS!!! Seriously, I either go to bed and wake up at 3/4am and can't go back to sleep or I just can't fall asleep until 4am. Why, Allah, why?
Stay tuned, bitches
Backing up:
On Thursday, September 9th, I boarded a plane from DC to Frankfurt. The plane ride was 7 1/2 hours and lucky for me, as soon as we took off, I found out I had the worst stomach craps IN DA WORLD!!! At first, I was like, "I must be hungry. Let's get this meal service started." But the by the time the flight attendant was asking me if I wanted chicken or pasta, I had decided I might be flying Diarrhea Airlines, flight # shit-my-plants, with non-stop service to the farthest place possible. And to top that off, I was in the middle seat, so if I had to go the lavatory, I would have to make someone get up and if I did it multiple times, I would not have any friends for 7 1/2 hours. After forcing down, some gross airplane food, I changed my mind and realized I needed to vomitate :( So, I quietly and politely made my way to the bathroom only to discover that I had misdiagnosed myself. I was just gassy, nauseous, and at this point, cranky. What the hell?! By the time my second flight from Frankfurt to Istanbul arrived, I was better, not 100%, but better. There, waiting for me was my friend GIZEM who I hadn't seen in almost 3 years!!!
Gizem's drama:
When I made plans to come to Turkey, I made sure to come early to find an apartment and get settled, but I also wanted to spend time with my friend if possible. Our Polish freak Gosia also planned on coming for a few days and we could all hang out together. However, a couple days before I arrived, the unthinkable happened...............................................
The water pipes in Gizem's house EXPLODED and FLOODED the whole place!!! Noooo! As a result, Gizem and her parents temporarily moved in with relatives, Gosia canceled her trip, and I had to stay in a guest house/hostel. Of course, I'm in no way mad at Gizmo or her family; it was just unfortunate timing. And, my first few days were still fun filled, looking at apartments, eating Turkish food, and watching the basketball world championships which was going on in Turkey!
I also met a lot of Gizem's relatives and I love them all already. I know it may sound like I'm exaggerating, but these people were just super nice to me although most of them don't speak a word of English. They're adorable. I hope to be able to learn enough Turkish to tell them how cool I think they are.
A couple days after I arrived, Gosia surprised us by letting us know that she was in fact coming to Istanbul on a tour with her parents. That day, my personal Turk and I took a water ferry from Asia to Europe (dramatic, I know) and saw the touristy sites of Isty: famous mosques, a cistern, monuments... That night, we met up with Gosh at her hotel and went out for the night. IT WAS LIKE THE BEST NIGHT EVER AND I GET ALL MISTY MISTY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. We were besties and haven't seen each other in so long. All we did was go to Taksim (the hip place in 'Stanbul) had a beer, talked, laughed, and ate DRUNCHIES. We didn't want to say bye, however our new goal is to reunite again in Poland during winter break.
I am now in my apartment which is about a five minute walk from campus. It's totes awes! If I like you, you have my permission to come visit and stay here. If I don't like you, you have my permission to be jealous. ;) Gizem worked her Turkish voodoo and used her family's living sitch to make the people living here feel sorry for me and let me stay=I'm her bitch forever. There are two German guys and a Turkish girl. They're super nice and helpful (at least for now). Will let you know if there be dramz.
Overall:
1) I have decided that I have a BIGASS CRUSH on Istanbul. Like I said, I don't usually like a place when I first move there, but I surprisingly like it here. I hope she likes me back...
2)The only thing I hate about being here is that I don't know Turkish, like anything. Can't even say basic shit. And whenever Gizem teaches me stuff, it doesn't even sound like a language so it doesn't stick in my head. But I will get it one of these days! And I will make my facebook statuses in Turkish so you'll be like "Shit! Why am I not cool enough to know Turkish like Peter?"
3) Turkish guys like to have two hairstyles at the same time.
For a visual: divide your hair in half (front and back). In the back, make it spiky with gel. In the front, put gel in it also but comb it forward. You now have Turkish boy hair. Weird, huh?
4) For some reason, I have thought up names for Turkish pornos. So far, I have "Constan-titty-nople" and "Istan-balls". Don't ask me where this came from.
5) JETLAG CAN SUCK MY ASS!!! Seriously, I either go to bed and wake up at 3/4am and can't go back to sleep or I just can't fall asleep until 4am. Why, Allah, why?
Stay tuned, bitches
Friday, August 13, 2010
Israel: Yay or Nay?
I'm back in the US, hanging out with my parents and little sister in Hickville, Virginia. I got back Monday afternoon and have pretty much spent my days recovering from jet lag, watching Netflix, and starting a new workout routine. (The last two are kind of opposites.) So how did I spend the rest of my time in the Holy Land and am I overall satisfied that I went?
Let's see:
I finished my Hebrew course on July 26th. I actually came to enjoy it quite a bit. Okay, not the studying and paying attention during class, but I made a few good friends and got to know Israel a whole lot better. I have decided that I'm thankful I had the opportunity to go but I am not in any hurry to go back. I hate having to go through a metal detector every time I go to the mall and although I might have a certain attraction to Israelis, my interest is not reciprocated.
Should we talk about this? I THINK SO!
After getting shut down previously by some guy's friend (see previous blog post), I didn't have very high expectations for the rest of my time there in terms of getting any. However, I was pleasantly surprised that I got my ass grabbed repeatedly at the same club a week later. (!!!) I even got enough courage to leave my phone number at a cafe for a guy who checked out Arthemis' tits...and that didn't really work out for me.
The night after our last Ulpan class, a bunch of us went out in downtown J-Ru one last time. I drunkarexically sloshed around the whole night after approximately one shot and half a beer. Our teacher Nomi even made an appearance with her Ish (boyfriend). It was like Regina George punched me in the face because IT...WAS...AWESOME! Imagine a handful of drunk Americans competing to tell Lawn Gnomie how much we love both her and her man in Hebrew.
Post-Ulpan, I became Atalya's live-in boyfriend without the sex. (It was a mutual agreement) There, I would sleep in until eleven everyday and sometimes hang out with my friends who were also still in Israel. We went to the beach in Tel Aviv, to Haifa for an overnight trip, to Ein Gedi and the Dead Sea, and one day, we met up with Nomi for coffee in Jerusalem. It was super cool, especially because we spoke in English the whole time. Poor Taly had to get up everyday at six, so I know for a fact she was ready for me to get the hell out of her room. But I cannot thank her enough for how great she was to me while I was there.
WARNING! DO NOT POOP, SHAVE YOUR BODY, OR HAVE SEX (FRONT DOOR OR BACK DOOR) BEFORE GOING IN THE DEAD SEA. IT WILL BURN!
I may or may not know this from first hand experience. You'll have to guess which one ;)
I also went to a wine festival with Atalya's dad and brother. Lots o' fun! I don't really like wine, but I somehow figured out a way to enjoy it haha. The wines were all from Israeli vineyards which contributes further to my Israeli culture credibility.
(NOT SUCH A) DRAMATIC NEWS UPDATE
I met up with "someone" again the very last night before I left. Atalya and he both came back from the army together and the three of us went out to eat. It could have been really awkward and terrible (again) but I actually had a great time. It was almost like (god forbid) we were friends again. I'm so happy that this happened because I think it brought a lot of closure to my trip and solidified my contentment with my decision to go to Israel. It would have been nice to have more good times like that while I was there, but I think I should be thankful for the good memory I now have. :)
So I will conclude with some random facts:
1) New favorite graphic tee spotted "Dirty is the New Black"- worn by a black person. Think about it...
2) True or Fales: Everyone speaks/understands enough English in Israel. FALSE. If you order an Iced Chai Tea Latte from a place where their menu is in Hebrew and English, you just might get a hot latte.
3) My mom has taken up crocheting handbags out of Wal-Mart plastic bags, t-shirts, and VHS tapes. I smell a photo shoot!
Finally accepted to my university in Turkey. Are you still gonna follow my blog then? I'm sure there won't be as much juicy drama (or will there???), but you should definitely stay tuned.
Let's see:
I finished my Hebrew course on July 26th. I actually came to enjoy it quite a bit. Okay, not the studying and paying attention during class, but I made a few good friends and got to know Israel a whole lot better. I have decided that I'm thankful I had the opportunity to go but I am not in any hurry to go back. I hate having to go through a metal detector every time I go to the mall and although I might have a certain attraction to Israelis, my interest is not reciprocated.
Should we talk about this? I THINK SO!
After getting shut down previously by some guy's friend (see previous blog post), I didn't have very high expectations for the rest of my time there in terms of getting any. However, I was pleasantly surprised that I got my ass grabbed repeatedly at the same club a week later. (!!!) I even got enough courage to leave my phone number at a cafe for a guy who checked out Arthemis' tits...and that didn't really work out for me.
The night after our last Ulpan class, a bunch of us went out in downtown J-Ru one last time. I drunkarexically sloshed around the whole night after approximately one shot and half a beer. Our teacher Nomi even made an appearance with her Ish (boyfriend). It was like Regina George punched me in the face because IT...WAS...AWESOME! Imagine a handful of drunk Americans competing to tell Lawn Gnomie how much we love both her and her man in Hebrew.
Post-Ulpan, I became Atalya's live-in boyfriend without the sex. (It was a mutual agreement) There, I would sleep in until eleven everyday and sometimes hang out with my friends who were also still in Israel. We went to the beach in Tel Aviv, to Haifa for an overnight trip, to Ein Gedi and the Dead Sea, and one day, we met up with Nomi for coffee in Jerusalem. It was super cool, especially because we spoke in English the whole time. Poor Taly had to get up everyday at six, so I know for a fact she was ready for me to get the hell out of her room. But I cannot thank her enough for how great she was to me while I was there.
WARNING! DO NOT POOP, SHAVE YOUR BODY, OR HAVE SEX (FRONT DOOR OR BACK DOOR) BEFORE GOING IN THE DEAD SEA. IT WILL BURN!
I may or may not know this from first hand experience. You'll have to guess which one ;)
I also went to a wine festival with Atalya's dad and brother. Lots o' fun! I don't really like wine, but I somehow figured out a way to enjoy it haha. The wines were all from Israeli vineyards which contributes further to my Israeli culture credibility.
(NOT SUCH A) DRAMATIC NEWS UPDATE
I met up with "someone" again the very last night before I left. Atalya and he both came back from the army together and the three of us went out to eat. It could have been really awkward and terrible (again) but I actually had a great time. It was almost like (god forbid) we were friends again. I'm so happy that this happened because I think it brought a lot of closure to my trip and solidified my contentment with my decision to go to Israel. It would have been nice to have more good times like that while I was there, but I think I should be thankful for the good memory I now have. :)
So I will conclude with some random facts:
1) New favorite graphic tee spotted "Dirty is the New Black"- worn by a black person. Think about it...
2) True or Fales: Everyone speaks/understands enough English in Israel. FALSE. If you order an Iced Chai Tea Latte from a place where their menu is in Hebrew and English, you just might get a hot latte.
3) My mom has taken up crocheting handbags out of Wal-Mart plastic bags, t-shirts, and VHS tapes. I smell a photo shoot!
Finally accepted to my university in Turkey. Are you still gonna follow my blog then? I'm sure there won't be as much juicy drama (or will there???), but you should definitely stay tuned.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Cover it up!
My apartment building faces another one, and some people don't realize that if you don't close your window, people can see into your room. That means they can see all the stuff you do in your room. Like if you're having sex across from my building with the window open and I happen to look out of my window at the same time (like right now), I can see you.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Israeli Men: The Good, the Bad, and the Assholes
I really need to update this more frequently so that I can give more thorough updates. A lot has happened in the past week or so and of course, I'm going to tell you all about it! (or at least the non-embarrassing parts)
Let's start with last weekend because that's when interesting shit happened. On Friday, my one good Israeli hostess Atalya met me at my university to go to the Jerusalem Film Festival. It attracts movies and people from all over the world and was really an interesting place to be. We saw one movie on Friday and two on Saturday, all Israeli movies. One of them was some weird Israeli sci-fi shit which I obviously didn't like, but the other two were seriously life-changing (at least for a few days). They both focused on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to some extent and gave me different perspectives on how the ordeal affects people in the region. One was a documentary about a family in Gaza who's son had a rare disease that could only be cured by a transplant if a perfect donor was found. However, the boy was brought to Israel to be treated and it showed how the family's opinion of Israel changed throughout the course of the treatment and their personal thoughts on the situation. The coolest thing about the festival was that the directors and actors were all there. They came on stage and talked at the end, and of course by the time the family from Gaza went up, everybody in the audience was a puddle. In conclusion, this affected me in that I realized that although I might not find someone to dedicate my life to (dramatic, I know), I can dedicate my life to some worthwhile cause.
After the film on Friday night, Atalya drove us to Tel Aviv to see Ivri Lider's concert. Ivri Lider (Israeli Man #1) is a really famous singer in Israel and I actually had some of his music on my iPod before coming to Israel. So, it was really neat to see him on stage. He didn't sing any songs that I knew so it was obvious that I'm not from these parts as Israelis see concerts more as sing-a-longs. They sing pretty much every word to every song, sometimes louder than the singer. But, I had a really great time and I'm glad that Atalya worked her Jewish voodoo and got us tickets. Did I mention Ivri Lider's gay, single, and extremely attractive? Whoops, guess that's a minor detail.
On Sunday, which is a school night, I met up with Talya (her black name) to see "Fiddler on the Roof" in Tel Aviv. I was slightly unhappy that it was the same night as the World Cup final, but quickly got over when I heard from my friends that it wasn't that much fun to watch. The play was really awesome. Yeah, it was all in Hebrew, but it had subtitles in English on a screen for those of us who still can't speak Hebrew after 3 weeks in Israel. I'm now very cultured in Israeli cinema, music, and theater. So be jealous!
BTW, Atalya and I got in our first mini-fight since I've been here. I told her to turn the wrong way and she waved a fist at time and bit her lip. We worked it out though.
More gossip on Atalya:
1) I still don't know what her boyfriend looks like because she won't let me meet him and hasn't showed me pictures. She denies that he's chocolate but you can never be so sure...
2) Apparently, they like to "go to" the water tower in Modi'in. Maybe I'll spy on them there.
In my Hebrew class, we have two teachers who alternate. One's name is Nomi (I nicknamed her Lawn Gnomie) and the other is Michal. Somehow, both of them were sick for four consecutive days this past week. How does that happen? Seriously, how does that happen? How do you have a cold when it's the summer in Israel a.k.a. a desert?
Meanwhile, my best friend here is Carrie Lieberthal. She's from New York and gets all my humor. We joke about youtube videos and Hebrew slang and make fun of Swedish accents. We also enjoy being drunkorexic, drunk, and eating drunchies (you can't really do the first and the last one at the same time, it's not healthy). She's in Jordan this weekend and Atalya just left for Germany with her family so I'm missing my gurls a lot. But isn't this supposed to be about Israeli men?
YES, IT IS!!!
Israeli Man/Boy #0 is now being a douche by not talking to me at all. Sometimes, I think he's read my blog and thinks I'm an asshole. But I don't think he actually gives a shit about me that much to read it. So I will continue to chat shit and update the situation as I feel appropriate.
Last night=Good Shit.
My gurls are both out of town, but I went with some people from class downtown. At first, it was chill, just pre-drinking and going to a bar. My friend Arthemis met a Palestinian guy in the bar and then proceeded to make out with him for a good half hour.
But enough about other people, let's focus on me. We ended up going to this place called Constantine, a great dance club (not like Club 101). Our group had 10 or so people, mostly stupid Americans, so I was getting it by myself.
JUICY PART!!!
Later on, I noticed this group of three guys who were dancing together and I thought one of them was cute. This happens to me all the time, I just tell have to tell myself they're straight because most of the time they are. But this group smelled like diva. My 'dar was dinging. But I had only met two of the criteria for a successful match: gay and I'm interested. The third criterion is that the other person is interested. This is where it gets weird. So I was dancing by myself, but still close to the group in case the cute one made a move. He was the shy one of the group, so I knew I'd have to be persistent to get the goods. Eventually, we ended up dancing together like unsure gay people do. That means when you're not sure a guy is interested in you, you dance right next to him and "accidentally" keep bumping into him. If he does the same to you, then you know he likes you. That happened! We were at the point where one of us just had to say hi but he is super shy and I just wasn't drunk enough. He kept whispering to his posse, and all of a sudden one of his friends came up to me and said something in Hebrew. I thought it would be something like, "He likes you, he's just shy" or "What's your name? My friend's interested." I was wrong. I asked (in Hebrew, mind you) for him to tell me in English and this is what he said, "You, Him, No." WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEEEFFFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK???!!!!
Why are the love gods making me look like a fool? I thought I followed the rules. He seemed interested and then he's not? And he had to get his friend to tell me to go away. You and your handsome self can definitely join the asshole category (the biggest category) of Israeli men.
It's not supposed to be a big deal to dance with someone at a club and then nothing happens. Straight people do it all the time. But how often do I come across someone who is gay by association (his friends were obvious), good looking, looks like he doesn't still live at home, and acts interested in me? It really put a damper on my night although I tried not to let it.
However...
I left the club with Arthemis at 3 or 3:30. We ended up at this pizza place and sat down next to an Israeli guy. He started talking to us, and it turns out he is the nicest Israeli guy I've met so far. He also has white teeth and doesn't have a uni-brow which is not very common here. We talked with him until 5 in the morning and then he gave us a ride home. Arthemis is meeting him tomorrow for coffee. I'm jealous. She can have the Palestinian guy she made out with. I'll take this one.
Juicy Tid-bit: As we were walking to nice Israeli's car, I saw someone walking next to us that looked identical to the guy in the club. He wasn't wearing the same clothes so I wasn't sure, but he kept looking at me. I was wearing the same thing so he could've recognized me easily if he wanted a second chance. When we turned onto another street, he stopped where he was and just watched us go. I contemplated going back and asking him if he was the same person. I didn't, but I regret it today because I actually went on Craig's List looking for a Missed Connection=Embarrassing.
Interesting and Funny Facts:
1) My favorite Israeli graphic tee so far: "Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?"
2) The Israeli climate makes me have lots of boogers. Don't know why.
3) This song is hot is Israel right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8KigtSW_Ck
4) I got my nose pierced!!! Don't tell my mom.
Let's start with last weekend because that's when interesting shit happened. On Friday, my one good Israeli hostess Atalya met me at my university to go to the Jerusalem Film Festival. It attracts movies and people from all over the world and was really an interesting place to be. We saw one movie on Friday and two on Saturday, all Israeli movies. One of them was some weird Israeli sci-fi shit which I obviously didn't like, but the other two were seriously life-changing (at least for a few days). They both focused on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to some extent and gave me different perspectives on how the ordeal affects people in the region. One was a documentary about a family in Gaza who's son had a rare disease that could only be cured by a transplant if a perfect donor was found. However, the boy was brought to Israel to be treated and it showed how the family's opinion of Israel changed throughout the course of the treatment and their personal thoughts on the situation. The coolest thing about the festival was that the directors and actors were all there. They came on stage and talked at the end, and of course by the time the family from Gaza went up, everybody in the audience was a puddle. In conclusion, this affected me in that I realized that although I might not find someone to dedicate my life to (dramatic, I know), I can dedicate my life to some worthwhile cause.
After the film on Friday night, Atalya drove us to Tel Aviv to see Ivri Lider's concert. Ivri Lider (Israeli Man #1) is a really famous singer in Israel and I actually had some of his music on my iPod before coming to Israel. So, it was really neat to see him on stage. He didn't sing any songs that I knew so it was obvious that I'm not from these parts as Israelis see concerts more as sing-a-longs. They sing pretty much every word to every song, sometimes louder than the singer. But, I had a really great time and I'm glad that Atalya worked her Jewish voodoo and got us tickets. Did I mention Ivri Lider's gay, single, and extremely attractive? Whoops, guess that's a minor detail.
On Sunday, which is a school night, I met up with Talya (her black name) to see "Fiddler on the Roof" in Tel Aviv. I was slightly unhappy that it was the same night as the World Cup final, but quickly got over when I heard from my friends that it wasn't that much fun to watch. The play was really awesome. Yeah, it was all in Hebrew, but it had subtitles in English on a screen for those of us who still can't speak Hebrew after 3 weeks in Israel. I'm now very cultured in Israeli cinema, music, and theater. So be jealous!
BTW, Atalya and I got in our first mini-fight since I've been here. I told her to turn the wrong way and she waved a fist at time and bit her lip. We worked it out though.
More gossip on Atalya:
1) I still don't know what her boyfriend looks like because she won't let me meet him and hasn't showed me pictures. She denies that he's chocolate but you can never be so sure...
2) Apparently, they like to "go to" the water tower in Modi'in. Maybe I'll spy on them there.
In my Hebrew class, we have two teachers who alternate. One's name is Nomi (I nicknamed her Lawn Gnomie) and the other is Michal. Somehow, both of them were sick for four consecutive days this past week. How does that happen? Seriously, how does that happen? How do you have a cold when it's the summer in Israel a.k.a. a desert?
Meanwhile, my best friend here is Carrie Lieberthal. She's from New York and gets all my humor. We joke about youtube videos and Hebrew slang and make fun of Swedish accents. We also enjoy being drunkorexic, drunk, and eating drunchies (you can't really do the first and the last one at the same time, it's not healthy). She's in Jordan this weekend and Atalya just left for Germany with her family so I'm missing my gurls a lot. But isn't this supposed to be about Israeli men?
YES, IT IS!!!
Israeli Man/Boy #0 is now being a douche by not talking to me at all. Sometimes, I think he's read my blog and thinks I'm an asshole. But I don't think he actually gives a shit about me that much to read it. So I will continue to chat shit and update the situation as I feel appropriate.
Last night=Good Shit.
My gurls are both out of town, but I went with some people from class downtown. At first, it was chill, just pre-drinking and going to a bar. My friend Arthemis met a Palestinian guy in the bar and then proceeded to make out with him for a good half hour.
But enough about other people, let's focus on me. We ended up going to this place called Constantine, a great dance club (not like Club 101). Our group had 10 or so people, mostly stupid Americans, so I was getting it by myself.
JUICY PART!!!
Later on, I noticed this group of three guys who were dancing together and I thought one of them was cute. This happens to me all the time, I just tell have to tell myself they're straight because most of the time they are. But this group smelled like diva. My 'dar was dinging. But I had only met two of the criteria for a successful match: gay and I'm interested. The third criterion is that the other person is interested. This is where it gets weird. So I was dancing by myself, but still close to the group in case the cute one made a move. He was the shy one of the group, so I knew I'd have to be persistent to get the goods. Eventually, we ended up dancing together like unsure gay people do. That means when you're not sure a guy is interested in you, you dance right next to him and "accidentally" keep bumping into him. If he does the same to you, then you know he likes you. That happened! We were at the point where one of us just had to say hi but he is super shy and I just wasn't drunk enough. He kept whispering to his posse, and all of a sudden one of his friends came up to me and said something in Hebrew. I thought it would be something like, "He likes you, he's just shy" or "What's your name? My friend's interested." I was wrong. I asked (in Hebrew, mind you) for him to tell me in English and this is what he said, "You, Him, No." WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEEEFFFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK???!!!!
Why are the love gods making me look like a fool? I thought I followed the rules. He seemed interested and then he's not? And he had to get his friend to tell me to go away. You and your handsome self can definitely join the asshole category (the biggest category) of Israeli men.
It's not supposed to be a big deal to dance with someone at a club and then nothing happens. Straight people do it all the time. But how often do I come across someone who is gay by association (his friends were obvious), good looking, looks like he doesn't still live at home, and acts interested in me? It really put a damper on my night although I tried not to let it.
However...
I left the club with Arthemis at 3 or 3:30. We ended up at this pizza place and sat down next to an Israeli guy. He started talking to us, and it turns out he is the nicest Israeli guy I've met so far. He also has white teeth and doesn't have a uni-brow which is not very common here. We talked with him until 5 in the morning and then he gave us a ride home. Arthemis is meeting him tomorrow for coffee. I'm jealous. She can have the Palestinian guy she made out with. I'll take this one.
Juicy Tid-bit: As we were walking to nice Israeli's car, I saw someone walking next to us that looked identical to the guy in the club. He wasn't wearing the same clothes so I wasn't sure, but he kept looking at me. I was wearing the same thing so he could've recognized me easily if he wanted a second chance. When we turned onto another street, he stopped where he was and just watched us go. I contemplated going back and asking him if he was the same person. I didn't, but I regret it today because I actually went on Craig's List looking for a Missed Connection=Embarrassing.
Interesting and Funny Facts:
1) My favorite Israeli graphic tee so far: "Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?"
2) The Israeli climate makes me have lots of boogers. Don't know why.
3) This song is hot is Israel right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8KigtSW_Ck
4) I got my nose pierced!!! Don't tell my mom.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
THIS IS IT!
Alright, so this is what we've all been wanting to know: how do things turn out between my mystery acquaintance from the past (although everyone knows who I'm talking about) and me when we finally meet up again two years later. Can you guess? Well, it happened this weekend and it's juicy, so strap yourself in.
But first, let's back up a little and I'll tell you how things have been going outside of that. I'm semi-making friends in class. I mean, sometimes I feel like I have people to hang out with, but other times, I think to myself, why have I been in my room for 5 hours and no one has called, texted, sexted, emailed, facebooked...Needless to say, I'm still not in love with it here, but it's way better than spending all summer in Norman in my opinion. Did I mention it's free? Yet another reason I can't complain.
So one night last week, I decided to not be mopey and think about all the close friendships I don't have here, but to take advantage of my location. I'm only a bus ride from downtown Jerusalem a.k.a J-Ru. So, I hopped on the bus that I knew went to Old City (where the Wailing Wall and the Golden Dome and all that shizz is) and got off at the right spot. From there, I could either go right or left and there were no signs so I had to take a guess as to which way was better. Forty minutes later, I realized I had walked in the wrong direction. Isn't that fantastic? And it wasn't scenic at all either. I had walked through construction zones and abandoned buildings. I thought I was going to get gang raped by a flock of rabies-infested stray cats. I still had a good attitude and finally got to the Old City. I went to the Wailing Wall, which is really neat, had a good twenty minutes of reflection and decided I better head home since it was about 10:30 pm. I finally headed back to the bus stop I got off at, and prayed that the right bus would come. It did! "Great!" I thought. I am such an independent person and can get around by myself abroad. I spoke too soon. The bus pulled up to this weird hospital complex thing with lots of construction an hour later and the driver told me I had to get off. I asked if this was the bus that went to my university and he said it was but I was supposed to take it in the other direction. Luckily another bus was leaving in the right direction in about twenty minutes. So, there I was holding back tears in the middle of nowhere Jerusalem with religious Jewish people and scantily glad Russian looking women and who decides to call? You guessed it! Talking on the phone with him didn't help me at all because I felt even stupider. Eventually, I got back to my university but this is just one of the reasons why my relationship with Israel is on the rocks. Plus the sex isn't that good any more.
Ok, ready? Here it comes!
Thursday night (which is like a Friday night in the U.S.), there was a White Night in Tel Aviv. That's where a lot of the stores stay open, and there are concerts and exhibitions and stuff all over the city. So I took a bus (successfully) to Modi'in, the city of my girl Atalya. There, her mom fed me, while I waited two hours for Atalya to clean the bathroom...That's weird, right? Well, it is Atalya. Then it happened. A certain someone (CS for short) met us there and then we all went to TLV together on the train. The first contact with CS after two years was awkward to say the least, but I genuinely was happy to see him and wanted to have a good time. But the whole train ride there, he honestly acted like a douche bag. He only talked about himself and found any excuse to talk down to us. When we got to the city, he just walked wherever he wanted to go, without caring if we were behind him or not. Whatevs. By UWC coincidence, our friend Shany from Austria happened to be in Israel as well and we met her along with 3 other UWCCR-ers from Israel. CS FLIPPED HIS SHIT for Shany. Let me repeat that, FLIPPED HIS SHIT. I think a part of it was to shove it in my face that he was happier to see her than me, but I'm not sure. The rest of the night, we walked around the entire fucking city of Tel Aviv. I swear to Oprah I must have walked 10 miles. I was a little cranky at the beginning of the night, thinking about the CS sitch, but then snapped out of it and ended up having a good time overall, although I was the only one in the group who didn't speak Hebrew. Back to CS: he went from simply being conceited when it was just Atalya and me to PURPOSEFULLY NOT TALKING TO ME, NOT LOOKING AT ME, AND MOVING AWAY ON PURPOSE ANY TIME I WAS SEMI-CLOSE TO HIM. Being the mature person I am (haha), I tried to not make much of it at the time. He left earlier than anyone else because he was tired from a long week of work (which is understandable). But then he called Atalya because he had a question about the buses and I asked to speak to him. I told him that if every interaction we were going to have from now on was going to be like that, it's just silly to even meet up. He told me that yeah things were kind of awkward but that he wasn't upset with me or anything. This is where I'm confused. I wasn't hoping to rekindle a romance, restart a friendship or even be on speaking terms. I just wanted to have fun with some friends from the past as I happen to be in fucking Israel. Fucking Israel. Like, I'm only here almost never so you could try to at least seem interested in my life for two seconds. Is that too much to ask??? Or is it normal for you to talk to everyone else except one person?
I haven't heard from him since then, so it's TBD what will happen with this dilemma. But this story actually has a happy ending, at least at this point in time.
We got home at 7am Friday morning, slept till 5pm, and then went for Shabbat dinner at the grandparents house. They are the nicest people and the food was awesome. Sunday, my future wife (for the green card), Atalya and I went to Jellyfish Beach. It's not really called that, but it's the place where I got stung by a jellyfish three years ago so I think it's cursed. After this fun filled weekend and lots of thinking, I have come to the conclusion, that although the interaction between CS and I was shit, it was one of the best things that has happened to me lately. I feel like I have been hugged by Tyra because all the stress I was under before is gone and I have so much more confidence. I don't get nervous thinking about CS anymore and honestly could care less to keep in touch with him once I leave Israel. Who wants to be friends/ even be in contact with a douche or someone who won't even look at you in the eye? I have spent all this time hoping that he would come to his sense and that we could be friends again, but now, I FINALLY realize how silly that is. He has his new friends and his life and I have mine. I consider my friends to be some of the best ever and I'm at a point where I'm actually pretty content with my life. I also think that I'm a pretty kickass friend and a catch when it comes to relationships so if some Israeli can't handle this, there's plenty of fish in the sea, just not in Oklahoma. Of course, he's been more than a great friend to me in the past, and with my maternal instincts, I know that if he was ever trapped under a bus, you bet your sweet ass, I would lift that sucker off of him. But nothing is meant to be now. Thank god I have finally come to this conclusion on my own. I feel like crying I'm so happy.
But let's get to funny things, yeah?
1. In Israel, they have chocolate spread that you put on bread. No, not Nutella dumb bitches, if it was Nutella, I would have called it that. It's pure chocolate and I have been snarfing it down ever since I got here. If I come back with a gut and thunder thighs, this is where I got it.
2. Israelis have no sidewalk etiquette. If you are walking in the opposite direction on a sidewalk, they will walk straight at you, even if there is tons of room. So dumb.
3. I stole a kipa from the Wailing Wall. Need to add it to my collection.
4. Both the toilet paper and tissues here are not the right consistency. Toilet paper feels like paper towels and tissues feel like napkins. I guess Israel doesn't understand soft things for sensitive areas. ISRAEL'S A SENSITIVE AREA, WOULD YOU RATHER I WIPE YOU WITH A PAPER TOWEL OR TOILET PAPER?
5. My newest goal is to meet Atalya's boyfriend. I hope he's black.
But first, let's back up a little and I'll tell you how things have been going outside of that. I'm semi-making friends in class. I mean, sometimes I feel like I have people to hang out with, but other times, I think to myself, why have I been in my room for 5 hours and no one has called, texted, sexted, emailed, facebooked...Needless to say, I'm still not in love with it here, but it's way better than spending all summer in Norman in my opinion. Did I mention it's free? Yet another reason I can't complain.
So one night last week, I decided to not be mopey and think about all the close friendships I don't have here, but to take advantage of my location. I'm only a bus ride from downtown Jerusalem a.k.a J-Ru. So, I hopped on the bus that I knew went to Old City (where the Wailing Wall and the Golden Dome and all that shizz is) and got off at the right spot. From there, I could either go right or left and there were no signs so I had to take a guess as to which way was better. Forty minutes later, I realized I had walked in the wrong direction. Isn't that fantastic? And it wasn't scenic at all either. I had walked through construction zones and abandoned buildings. I thought I was going to get gang raped by a flock of rabies-infested stray cats. I still had a good attitude and finally got to the Old City. I went to the Wailing Wall, which is really neat, had a good twenty minutes of reflection and decided I better head home since it was about 10:30 pm. I finally headed back to the bus stop I got off at, and prayed that the right bus would come. It did! "Great!" I thought. I am such an independent person and can get around by myself abroad. I spoke too soon. The bus pulled up to this weird hospital complex thing with lots of construction an hour later and the driver told me I had to get off. I asked if this was the bus that went to my university and he said it was but I was supposed to take it in the other direction. Luckily another bus was leaving in the right direction in about twenty minutes. So, there I was holding back tears in the middle of nowhere Jerusalem with religious Jewish people and scantily glad Russian looking women and who decides to call? You guessed it! Talking on the phone with him didn't help me at all because I felt even stupider. Eventually, I got back to my university but this is just one of the reasons why my relationship with Israel is on the rocks. Plus the sex isn't that good any more.
Ok, ready? Here it comes!
Thursday night (which is like a Friday night in the U.S.), there was a White Night in Tel Aviv. That's where a lot of the stores stay open, and there are concerts and exhibitions and stuff all over the city. So I took a bus (successfully) to Modi'in, the city of my girl Atalya. There, her mom fed me, while I waited two hours for Atalya to clean the bathroom...That's weird, right? Well, it is Atalya. Then it happened. A certain someone (CS for short) met us there and then we all went to TLV together on the train. The first contact with CS after two years was awkward to say the least, but I genuinely was happy to see him and wanted to have a good time. But the whole train ride there, he honestly acted like a douche bag. He only talked about himself and found any excuse to talk down to us. When we got to the city, he just walked wherever he wanted to go, without caring if we were behind him or not. Whatevs. By UWC coincidence, our friend Shany from Austria happened to be in Israel as well and we met her along with 3 other UWCCR-ers from Israel. CS FLIPPED HIS SHIT for Shany. Let me repeat that, FLIPPED HIS SHIT. I think a part of it was to shove it in my face that he was happier to see her than me, but I'm not sure. The rest of the night, we walked around the entire fucking city of Tel Aviv. I swear to Oprah I must have walked 10 miles. I was a little cranky at the beginning of the night, thinking about the CS sitch, but then snapped out of it and ended up having a good time overall, although I was the only one in the group who didn't speak Hebrew. Back to CS: he went from simply being conceited when it was just Atalya and me to PURPOSEFULLY NOT TALKING TO ME, NOT LOOKING AT ME, AND MOVING AWAY ON PURPOSE ANY TIME I WAS SEMI-CLOSE TO HIM. Being the mature person I am (haha), I tried to not make much of it at the time. He left earlier than anyone else because he was tired from a long week of work (which is understandable). But then he called Atalya because he had a question about the buses and I asked to speak to him. I told him that if every interaction we were going to have from now on was going to be like that, it's just silly to even meet up. He told me that yeah things were kind of awkward but that he wasn't upset with me or anything. This is where I'm confused. I wasn't hoping to rekindle a romance, restart a friendship or even be on speaking terms. I just wanted to have fun with some friends from the past as I happen to be in fucking Israel. Fucking Israel. Like, I'm only here almost never so you could try to at least seem interested in my life for two seconds. Is that too much to ask??? Or is it normal for you to talk to everyone else except one person?
I haven't heard from him since then, so it's TBD what will happen with this dilemma. But this story actually has a happy ending, at least at this point in time.
We got home at 7am Friday morning, slept till 5pm, and then went for Shabbat dinner at the grandparents house. They are the nicest people and the food was awesome. Sunday, my future wife (for the green card), Atalya and I went to Jellyfish Beach. It's not really called that, but it's the place where I got stung by a jellyfish three years ago so I think it's cursed. After this fun filled weekend and lots of thinking, I have come to the conclusion, that although the interaction between CS and I was shit, it was one of the best things that has happened to me lately. I feel like I have been hugged by Tyra because all the stress I was under before is gone and I have so much more confidence. I don't get nervous thinking about CS anymore and honestly could care less to keep in touch with him once I leave Israel. Who wants to be friends/ even be in contact with a douche or someone who won't even look at you in the eye? I have spent all this time hoping that he would come to his sense and that we could be friends again, but now, I FINALLY realize how silly that is. He has his new friends and his life and I have mine. I consider my friends to be some of the best ever and I'm at a point where I'm actually pretty content with my life. I also think that I'm a pretty kickass friend and a catch when it comes to relationships so if some Israeli can't handle this, there's plenty of fish in the sea, just not in Oklahoma. Of course, he's been more than a great friend to me in the past, and with my maternal instincts, I know that if he was ever trapped under a bus, you bet your sweet ass, I would lift that sucker off of him. But nothing is meant to be now. Thank god I have finally come to this conclusion on my own. I feel like crying I'm so happy.
But let's get to funny things, yeah?
1. In Israel, they have chocolate spread that you put on bread. No, not Nutella dumb bitches, if it was Nutella, I would have called it that. It's pure chocolate and I have been snarfing it down ever since I got here. If I come back with a gut and thunder thighs, this is where I got it.
2. Israelis have no sidewalk etiquette. If you are walking in the opposite direction on a sidewalk, they will walk straight at you, even if there is tons of room. So dumb.
3. I stole a kipa from the Wailing Wall. Need to add it to my collection.
4. Both the toilet paper and tissues here are not the right consistency. Toilet paper feels like paper towels and tissues feel like napkins. I guess Israel doesn't understand soft things for sensitive areas. ISRAEL'S A SENSITIVE AREA, WOULD YOU RATHER I WIPE YOU WITH A PAPER TOWEL OR TOILET PAPER?
5. My newest goal is to meet Atalya's boyfriend. I hope he's black.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Shabbat Shalom/WATCH OUT LIL' MAMA
Just want to say thanks to everyone who has read my blog so far! I really appreciate it.
I made my first friend on Wednesday. Her name is Rosa. She's from Spain and therefore speaks Spanish. She also gossips. Needless to say, we're a perfect match. We're in the same class and got to talking about how we wanted to get out of Jerusalem. Miraculously, she has a car so we drove to Tel Aviv that afternoon, about an hour's drive. We ate at a great restaurant overlooking the beach and then had a drink while sitting in the sand. It was a really fun time and was reassuring for me because I thought I would never make new friends in Israel, where I've had so much luck making friends before.
Last night (Friday), Rosa took me and a few other friends to the same beach in Tel Aviv. We watched the soccer game between Spain and Chile with our feet in the sand. My friend Atalya met us there. She was looking HAWWTTT in some sexy fine luthah (leather) boots. Shout-out to mah gurl 4 dat! Lately, I've only been having one beer at a time since I have class in the morning, but last night, I went crazy and had two. So, by the time Atal strutted up to us, I wasn't trashed, but I was feeling good. Thus, it was a successful night. Oh, and Spain won.
From sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday is the Shabbat or holy day for Jewish people. In Israel, it's like Sundays in the U.S. but worse, in my opinion. Jerusalem has lots of religious people so all the stores are closed and buses don't run. It's just sucky and a barrier to me going out on the weekends. I guess my bank account will thank me later. Anywho, you're supposed to say "Shabbat Shalom" (which is translated as "have a peaceful shabbat") to anyone you see before Shabbat starts, but in my head I always think, "Hello Shabbat" because "Shalom" is like "Aloha" and means 10 different things. Because of this, I always giggle to myself because it sounds funny to say "Hola Shabbat". I have now devised a plan to get really drunk on a Friday afternoon so that when it's sundown I can drunkenly say "Shalom" to the Shabbat.
More goals:
6. Say "Shalom" to the "Shabbat". See above.
7. Make a parody music video a la Lil' Mama's "Lip Gloss"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCvXzjGRnKc
but it's gonna be called "My Kipa is Kool, My Kipa is Poppin"
Btw, a kipa is a yarmulke. It's what all the Jew-cy Jews wear.
Move ovah Lil' Mama, my Kipa comes in more flavas than yo' lip gloss!
I made my first friend on Wednesday. Her name is Rosa. She's from Spain and therefore speaks Spanish. She also gossips. Needless to say, we're a perfect match. We're in the same class and got to talking about how we wanted to get out of Jerusalem. Miraculously, she has a car so we drove to Tel Aviv that afternoon, about an hour's drive. We ate at a great restaurant overlooking the beach and then had a drink while sitting in the sand. It was a really fun time and was reassuring for me because I thought I would never make new friends in Israel, where I've had so much luck making friends before.
Last night (Friday), Rosa took me and a few other friends to the same beach in Tel Aviv. We watched the soccer game between Spain and Chile with our feet in the sand. My friend Atalya met us there. She was looking HAWWTTT in some sexy fine luthah (leather) boots. Shout-out to mah gurl 4 dat! Lately, I've only been having one beer at a time since I have class in the morning, but last night, I went crazy and had two. So, by the time Atal strutted up to us, I wasn't trashed, but I was feeling good. Thus, it was a successful night. Oh, and Spain won.
From sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday is the Shabbat or holy day for Jewish people. In Israel, it's like Sundays in the U.S. but worse, in my opinion. Jerusalem has lots of religious people so all the stores are closed and buses don't run. It's just sucky and a barrier to me going out on the weekends. I guess my bank account will thank me later. Anywho, you're supposed to say "Shabbat Shalom" (which is translated as "have a peaceful shabbat") to anyone you see before Shabbat starts, but in my head I always think, "Hello Shabbat" because "Shalom" is like "Aloha" and means 10 different things. Because of this, I always giggle to myself because it sounds funny to say "Hola Shabbat". I have now devised a plan to get really drunk on a Friday afternoon so that when it's sundown I can drunkenly say "Shalom" to the Shabbat.
More goals:
6. Say "Shalom" to the "Shabbat". See above.
7. Make a parody music video a la Lil' Mama's "Lip Gloss"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCvXzjGRnKc
but it's gonna be called "My Kipa is Kool, My Kipa is Poppin"
Btw, a kipa is a yarmulke. It's what all the Jew-cy Jews wear.
Move ovah Lil' Mama, my Kipa comes in more flavas than yo' lip gloss!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Goals/ I've accepted that I'm a silly bitch
These are my goals for time in Israel so far:
1. Get the Jew-cy Fruit, put it in my mouth, and spit it out when the flavor goes away (can't decide if i'm being serious or not...)
2. buy a speedo and wear it in public
3. buy at least 2 pairs of man capris
4. wear a yarmulke for an entire day
5. go to a rave in the desert
I have gone to class three days so far. The first day I was an hour early, the second I was just late and today I was late because my stupid Israeli cell phone alarm didn't go off. This means I work up fifteen minutes before class. I had to reuse dirty underwear, chew gum instead of brush my teeth, and come to class all sweaty from running. Overall, today was not a great day.
More trends I've discovered that are popular in Israel
-graphic t-shirts that say stupid things in English e.g. "I'm retired" (more examples to come)
-driving Mazdas-shoutout to Momma Big!
-being too busy in the army to hang out
This brings me to my conclusion that yes, I'm a silly bitch. Not stupid, just silly.
1. Get the Jew-cy Fruit, put it in my mouth, and spit it out when the flavor goes away (can't decide if i'm being serious or not...)
2. buy a speedo and wear it in public
3. buy at least 2 pairs of man capris
4. wear a yarmulke for an entire day
5. go to a rave in the desert
I have gone to class three days so far. The first day I was an hour early, the second I was just late and today I was late because my stupid Israeli cell phone alarm didn't go off. This means I work up fifteen minutes before class. I had to reuse dirty underwear, chew gum instead of brush my teeth, and come to class all sweaty from running. Overall, today was not a great day.
More trends I've discovered that are popular in Israel
-graphic t-shirts that say stupid things in English e.g. "I'm retired" (more examples to come)
-driving Mazdas-shoutout to Momma Big!
-being too busy in the army to hang out
This brings me to my conclusion that yes, I'm a silly bitch. Not stupid, just silly.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Israel so far/ Am I a dumb bitch?
After over 24 hours of traveling (complete with an 11 hour layover in Newark, a quick trip to NYC, and a 10-hour flight squished between two Israeli men), I made it to Israel last Thursday afternoon. My friend Atalya picked me up from the airport dressed in her sweet army uniform. From there, we took the train to her town. While waiting for the train at the airport, I was convinced that I must have cracked out on something because I looked over and there was Nadav's dad. Of course, me being a big freak, I look over and wave super enthusiastically. This is what I was saying with my wave, "Shalom! Member me, that cray cray who just won't get out of your life? You can't hide from me, Mr. Lidor! I see you over there." Eventually, he recognized us and came over and said hi politely. I'm not sure if he was going to or from the airport, but it was just a coincidence seeing him there.
We went to Atalya's house, I showered off two days worth of nastiness, and then we took a stroll around the local mall. It was early to bed for us because I was and still am jet-lagged and we had an early bus to catch the following morn. That's right, I said "morn".
We caught the 6 o'clock bus to Eilat, the southernmost city in Israel, located on the Red Sea. The trip took a little over five hours. When we finally arrived in Eilat, we had to walk fifteen minutes in 100 degree weather with heavy backpacks to our hotel. I then proceeded to take at least a 3-hour nap while Atalya wandered around patiently.
During the weekend, we swam in the pool and the sea, and walked around the shops where everything is "duty free". The second day, we even went on a boat tour and to this indoor place with lots of ice. Their slogan is "Have an ice day!" So clever! I experienced my first Israeli beer on Saturday night. It's called Goldstar and it's pretty good. I can see myself getting drunk off of it in the near future, with or without other people ;) On our last day, we did watersport as they say here, going kayaking and then getting dragged by a boat on this raft thing. It's like tubing but on a big kickboard. It's called avoov and I would highly recommend it; my gonads might have not.
These are the current trends in Israel at the moment. Tight, stretchy clothing for ladies is in. This one girl on the bus was decked out in black leggings and a tube top. Her figure was not working it, and there weren't enough seats so she had to seat on the floor right next to me. Five hours of watching a life size sausage wrapped in a skin tight garbage bag roll around on the floor next to you is not the prettiest sight in the world. For men, the biggest trend is crack. That's right: crack...as in ass crack. I think I saw more crack this weekend than Whitney Houston has seen in her whole life. Israeli men just put on their pants and when they sit down, bend over, whatever, that crack just decides to pop out and say hello. And it's always hairy. Don't manscape if you're trying to pass for Israeli. Let that ass hair grow! Be proud of it!
After our fun filled weekend, we came back to Atalya's place Sunday night and yesterday, Monday, she drove me to my university here in Jerusalem. The campus is really neat and has a great view of both the east and west parts of the city because it's on top of a mountain. That means it's fun to walk away from campus to the dorms downhill but it's not fun to walk to campus uphill in sweltering heat. They took us on a tour of the campus and the local shopping area (which means they dropped us off at a mall and told us they were picking us up in 3 hours). They don't provide bedding in the dorms, so it was my mission to buy all that shit at the mall. Can you imagine being dropped off at a bigass mall where all the signs are in a foreign language and alphabet and told to go shopping? They didn't tell us where to go or how much things should cost so there I was in the Israeli mall trying to tell this lady that all I wanted was a blanket, but she couldn't understand me because her English wasn't that good. She got mad and asked me why I didn't know Hebrew if I was in Israel. Duh, bitch! That's why I'm here. The blanket was 30% off so at least my mom would be proud of me. Later, I spent probably twenty minutes at the food court deciding what I was going to eat because I didn't want to speak Hebrew any more. I was looking for something I could order in English. I didn't even understand the shit on the Burger King menu. So, after that lovely night on the town, I was exhausted and passed out by ten. This morning was our first day of classes, but I set my alarm to the wrong time and showed up an hour early. I thought I was late, and was like, "Where the fuck is everybody??!!" inside my head. But it turned out okay in the end.
This brings me to my question: Am I a dumb bitch?
My answer to this question would of course be yes. Who thinks it's a smart idea to travel halfway around the world to be less than an hour away from a certain "someone"? I've been telling myself that the number one reason I'm here is that I'm "studying Hebrew". If that's true, why is it that all that's on my mind is not Hebrew. Someone in Eilat probably hates their job cleaning toilets because I've been shitting bricks all weekend thinking about this dilemma. Of course, I love being abroad and trying new things, but the awkwardness of this new experience could have easily been avoided had I chosen not to come. Yet, in the end, I'm here for more than a month and I've got to decide how to handle it. Keep being a stupid little girl and worrying or try to mellow out and have some fun? Let's try for the second option, but I'll keep you updated on how that goes.
Lots of love to anyone who reads this!!!
We went to Atalya's house, I showered off two days worth of nastiness, and then we took a stroll around the local mall. It was early to bed for us because I was and still am jet-lagged and we had an early bus to catch the following morn. That's right, I said "morn".
We caught the 6 o'clock bus to Eilat, the southernmost city in Israel, located on the Red Sea. The trip took a little over five hours. When we finally arrived in Eilat, we had to walk fifteen minutes in 100 degree weather with heavy backpacks to our hotel. I then proceeded to take at least a 3-hour nap while Atalya wandered around patiently.
During the weekend, we swam in the pool and the sea, and walked around the shops where everything is "duty free". The second day, we even went on a boat tour and to this indoor place with lots of ice. Their slogan is "Have an ice day!" So clever! I experienced my first Israeli beer on Saturday night. It's called Goldstar and it's pretty good. I can see myself getting drunk off of it in the near future, with or without other people ;) On our last day, we did watersport as they say here, going kayaking and then getting dragged by a boat on this raft thing. It's like tubing but on a big kickboard. It's called avoov and I would highly recommend it; my gonads might have not.
These are the current trends in Israel at the moment. Tight, stretchy clothing for ladies is in. This one girl on the bus was decked out in black leggings and a tube top. Her figure was not working it, and there weren't enough seats so she had to seat on the floor right next to me. Five hours of watching a life size sausage wrapped in a skin tight garbage bag roll around on the floor next to you is not the prettiest sight in the world. For men, the biggest trend is crack. That's right: crack...as in ass crack. I think I saw more crack this weekend than Whitney Houston has seen in her whole life. Israeli men just put on their pants and when they sit down, bend over, whatever, that crack just decides to pop out and say hello. And it's always hairy. Don't manscape if you're trying to pass for Israeli. Let that ass hair grow! Be proud of it!
After our fun filled weekend, we came back to Atalya's place Sunday night and yesterday, Monday, she drove me to my university here in Jerusalem. The campus is really neat and has a great view of both the east and west parts of the city because it's on top of a mountain. That means it's fun to walk away from campus to the dorms downhill but it's not fun to walk to campus uphill in sweltering heat. They took us on a tour of the campus and the local shopping area (which means they dropped us off at a mall and told us they were picking us up in 3 hours). They don't provide bedding in the dorms, so it was my mission to buy all that shit at the mall. Can you imagine being dropped off at a bigass mall where all the signs are in a foreign language and alphabet and told to go shopping? They didn't tell us where to go or how much things should cost so there I was in the Israeli mall trying to tell this lady that all I wanted was a blanket, but she couldn't understand me because her English wasn't that good. She got mad and asked me why I didn't know Hebrew if I was in Israel. Duh, bitch! That's why I'm here. The blanket was 30% off so at least my mom would be proud of me. Later, I spent probably twenty minutes at the food court deciding what I was going to eat because I didn't want to speak Hebrew any more. I was looking for something I could order in English. I didn't even understand the shit on the Burger King menu. So, after that lovely night on the town, I was exhausted and passed out by ten. This morning was our first day of classes, but I set my alarm to the wrong time and showed up an hour early. I thought I was late, and was like, "Where the fuck is everybody??!!" inside my head. But it turned out okay in the end.
This brings me to my question: Am I a dumb bitch?
My answer to this question would of course be yes. Who thinks it's a smart idea to travel halfway around the world to be less than an hour away from a certain "someone"? I've been telling myself that the number one reason I'm here is that I'm "studying Hebrew". If that's true, why is it that all that's on my mind is not Hebrew. Someone in Eilat probably hates their job cleaning toilets because I've been shitting bricks all weekend thinking about this dilemma. Of course, I love being abroad and trying new things, but the awkwardness of this new experience could have easily been avoided had I chosen not to come. Yet, in the end, I'm here for more than a month and I've got to decide how to handle it. Keep being a stupid little girl and worrying or try to mellow out and have some fun? Let's try for the second option, but I'll keep you updated on how that goes.
Lots of love to anyone who reads this!!!
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